So much is happening so fast that it is hard to get it all in!! I will try, however...let's see - I think I was last talking about Plumb Line - wow! That was over a week ago!! To be honest, it's hard to keep up this blog when it seems that no one is reading it. I have my own personal journal plus the class journal I am keeping, so it seems silly to keep this blog just for myself. However, there were several people who said they were reading it and enjoying it when I went home over Christmas, so I am continuing to post here because of that.
Well, back in Plumb Line - wow, what a week that was!! Such healing! The basics of Plumb Line is that God's perfect Love is the Plumb Line, and then examining where we get off Plumb with different things that happen in our lives...I'll try to demonstrate it below...
Plumb
Sadness Hostility
Self-Pity Conceit
Self-Hatred Sophistication
Depression Elation/Deflation
Apathy Superiority
Inferiority Competitive
Insecurity Dominant
Failure Rigid
Guilt Manipulative
Dimness Stubborn
Dying Unteachable
Despairing Delusion
Discouraged Bitterness/Resentment
Quenched
(put out) Critical
Suicide Controlling
Posssessive
Homicide
REJECTION REBELLION
The sin: The sin:
Unbelief Pride
The entire thing is then split into 4 quadrants, wiht each indicating different directions people go with these feelings...on the Rejection side there is a Compliant and a "Can't Do It" Mentality. On the Rebellion side there is Competitve and Critical. Each of us spent time thinking about where we were at - I was definitely acting out of rejection and had a compliant spirit (yes, I know I hide it well! HAHA). A lot of people swing between different things, adn we all manifest all of them at different times, but the one you go to most is the root one.
Anyway, on Thursday we had a time of healing and it was so awesome. Everyone had a chance to go forward and just receive prayer for things that had happened in their lives - it wasn't a big "tell all" of all our deepest sins or anything - but a really supportive and uplifting time. On Friday we then talked about how to "walk" in the healing. This was really tough for me and I was under a huge amount of warfard throughout Friday, the weekend and Monday. Everywhere I turned I was feeling rejected and lonely. Comparison was coming in the back door and I was discouraged that everyone else seemed so free. Finally on Monday night I was able to pray it through with my mom and I really finally felt the breakthrough and the Freedom came! Amen! So, I can say that I am FREE of rejection, comparison, self-hatred, unworthiness, loneliness, unbelief, fear, lust, guilt, fear - gone!! Oh, I know they will still come knocking, but I don't believe them anymore...I'm finding my identity in Christ, and it is overcoming the lies I've believed my whold life!
So that was an exciting week!! Then last week, we were learning about "Hearing God's Voice" and the ways in which God speaks to us. Since I know you are interested (hehe)...here are some of the ways -
1. Through His Word
2. Through the inner witness fof the Holy Spirit
3. Through our conscience
4. Through circumstance
5. Through visions
6. Through dreams (be careful it wasn't just the pizza)
7. By His audible voice
8. Through Angels
9. Through gifts of the Spirit
10. Through songs, hymns and instruments
11. Through others (test this as we are all human and make mistakes)
12. Through feelings and emotions (REALLY test this as we get caught up in them, but they can lie to us!)
13. Through creation
14. Through the arts
15. Through supernatural signs and wonders
So, that was so encouraging and really helped me to see that, Yes, Indeed, I can hear God's voice!! Very cool! Then on Thursday we had a day of the leaders prophesying over us...wow - was that cool or what??? These were leaders here in the school who really don't know us at all, so it was really interesting what some of them said. They prophesied over me and it was so uplfiting! Then on Friday we had a time when we were to ask God some questions of our own...specifically, what does he thinkg of me and what are his plans for me? We had only 20 minutes to do this, and then we got into a group and shared what God had said...it was awesome. Some of the things he said to me where that I was joy, and encourager and a love-giver, that this is my Spring season and there is pure, sparkling water pouring forth. There was lots more, but that is an idea. If you'd like more specifics, email me! ;)
We've begun to see some really powerful stuff happening in our group. It all seemed to be happening to one girl Tracy, but now others, too! She was struggling financially and had some money come in at really *coincidental* times. Then, she was led to Esther and at the same time her prayer partner was also led there...and so gave her a card with the verses in it...well, the card happened to be a "Bridal Shower" card...and guess what happened that same night??? Yep...her boyfriend propsosed! Now, note...her prayer partner had no idea about the Esther passage. Her boyfriend is in Colorado going through another school right now and also knew nothing of this. She's sooo excited!!
Sunday we went to this big church up in Redding and me and this guy in our class, Marcus, went and bought hot chocolate/coffee to drink during service. Everywhere we went, we were in the way and it was a little frustrating. Then, there was no Sunday School for the kids, so Sierra was in the service and was having a bad attitude about that. We had driven an hour and a half to get there. As we were waalking ot our seats for service, they told us we coulnd't be in the sanctuary with drinks and so we had to go outside. We were pretty irritated!! Finally, we go back in and go to our seats we had reserved....only to find people sitting in them!!! So we then had to go and find seats in the very last row. Well, you know I had to spend the first 10 minutes just repenting for my bad attitude!! A little later we were asked if we wanted prayer for healing for different things....Marcus ended up raising his hand for finances and I also raised my hand for some physical healing. They had people around us pray for us and this lady prayed for Marcus. A little while later she asked him if he needed a job, and explained no, we are an hour and a half away and studying full time to be missionaries. Then, a little while after that she turned around again and said she and her husband had been really blessed and handed him a check.....for $500!!! I was so excited!! He was just sort of in shock! After he told everyone and the whole class is really jazzed. The next day some lady went to his mom's house and gave her a check for $400 to give to him - another total stranger! So, like I said - things are happeneing!!!
This week we are going deeper into the charachter of God and his Father's heart. Every weeek is just so wonderful and we are really learning so much and it is moving so fast. I can't believe it's been 6 weeks already!!! We are coming home this weekend to see everyone, so that'll be cool. I'll post some pictures soon, too.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Timing
Okay - just a reminder - PLEASE PLEASE leave comments for me!!! I need it!!
Well, my mom wanted me to put in here the prayers she's been saying for us, so here they are...the first one here was done this morning about the same time I was having my journal time that I went over in my previous post. The second was done before she read my response and didn't know that I was doing a lot better yet....kind of fun to see, huh?
(First one)
YOU AND SI WILL GET YOUR HEALING TODAY. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE LOVE OF CHRIST, GETTING IN EVERY CLOSED OFF ROOM OF YOUR HEART, OUT OF YOUR OWN PROTECTION, THE LORD WARS OVER BOTH OF YOU, AND HE HAS ALREADY WON THE BATTLE, THE BLOOD OF JESUS CLEANSES YOU, AND THIS TIME, THE ENEMY IS DEFEATED FOREVER, hE CANNOT RETURN INTO YOU, AS THE BLOOD IS CLEANSING YOU EVEN NOW AS THIS IS BEING WRITTEN. YOU ARE IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT TO RECEIVE ALL OF THE HEALING THAT IS NECESSARY, NO MORE FEAR WILL BE ABLE TO COME UPON YOU, YOU WILL BE FREE TO RECEIVE LOVE AND GIVE LOVE, AND IT WON'T EVEN BE YOUR OWN, BUT THE LOVE OF CHRIST, WHO ALONE IS GOOD, AND JUST AND RIGHTEOUS, AND IS THE ONLY RIGHTEOUS JUDGE. THE LOVE YOU HAD BEFORE FOR MEN WAS SIMPLY INFATUATION. INFATUATION DOESN'T LAST. THE REAL LOVE OF CHRIST IN YOU LASTS AND LASTS AND LASTS UNTILL OUR JESUS TAKES YOU TO BE WITH HIM. INFATUATION LASTS UNTIL THE ENEMY COMES IN AND FEEDS YOU hIS LIES.YOU BOTH HAVE THE GIFT OF INTERCESSION, AND IT'S BEING BIRTHED IN YOU, AND IT'S TOUGH AS YOU CARRY ALL THE SCARS OF THE GENERATIONAL SINS THAT HAVE COME DOWN THROUGH THE GENERATIONS OF SINS THAT WE HAVE CARRIED THROUGH OUR FAMILIES,(PART OF THE SUFFERING OF CHRIST), (, THIS IS HOW HE FELT ON THE CROSS AS HE CARRIED ALL OUR SINS ON HIS BACK) AND THE THINGS THAT WE HAVE EXPOSED OURSELVES TO, IE(SIN), BUT TODAY IS THE DAY OF RECONCILIATION, TODAY IS THE DAY OF REDEMPTION, FEAR IS BOUND, THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE OF OUR LORD IS OPERATING FROM WITHIN, ALL FEELINGS OF INSECURITY ARE BOUND, ALL BAD DREAMS, NO MORE TO RETURN, AS YOUR STRENGTH COMES FROM THE LORD FROM NOW ON. BY THE AUTHORITY INVESTED IN ME THROUGH THE BLOOD OF JESUS, I BIND FEAR, INSECURITY, BAD DREAMS, AND I LOOSE EVERY ROOM IN DAYNA AND SIERRA'S HOUSE TO RECEIVE THE CLEANSING BLOOD OF THE LAMB THE HEALING THAT COMES AS A RESULT OF THE REDEEMING BLOOD OF JESUS, AND THE STRENGTH OF OUR LORD TO CONQUER FROM WITHIN THEM, AS THEY GO OUT AND LOVE PEOPLE THE WAY THE LORD JESUS IS INVITING THEM TO, AS THEY GO OUT AND MINISTER TO PEOPLE THE WAY THE LORD HAS INVITED THEM TO. FOR THIS REASON AND THIS SEASON THEY WERE BORN INTO THE HOUSEHOLD OF FAITH, TO PUSH BACK THE POWERS OF DARKNESS, AND EXPAND THE KINGDOM OR OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. GLORY TO OUR GOD FOREVER AND EVER IN JESUS NAME I PRAY THIS PRAYER AND CELEBRATE.AMEN ACCORDING TO MARK11;23, THIS IS A DONE DEAL. I PRAY THAT TODAY RIVERS AND RIVERS OF LIVING WATER WILL FLOW THROUGH THIER SOUL AS THE HEALING COMES, AND SONGS OF DELIVERANCE AND PRAISE WILL FLOW EVERMORE FROM THEIR SOULS. LOVE MOM AND GRANDMOM
And now here is the second one.....
HI DAYNE AND SI, AFTER I PRAYED THAT PRAYER, I GOT ON THE TRAMPOLINE TO JUMP, AND I WAS LISTENING TO PRAISE MUSIC AND TRYING NOT TO JUMP TOO HARD AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I FELT THE LORD SAY, "GO GET THAT RED AND BLACK SCARF YOU HAVE," DANCE WITH IT FOR ME, AND I DID, AND HE REMINDED ME THE BLACK WAS HOW SINFUL I WAS, BUT THE BLOOD COVERED IT, AND IT WAS A REMINDER TO THAT. SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT I CANNOT EXPLAIN, BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN I LAUGED SO HARD THAT I COULDN'T EVEN CONTAIN MYSELF, I ALMOST FELL A COUPLE OF TIMES, AND I HAD TO STOP JUMPING TO LAUGH, MY FACE WAS RED AND I WAS COUPHING, I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN AND I TRULY WAS DRUNK WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT. IT CONTINUED FOR A LONG TIME, THEN I THOUGHT WHEN I WAS FINISHED WITH THE JUMPING AND LAUGHING I THOUGHT I'D COME IN AND CHECK THE MESSAGES BEFORE I STARTED PACKING FOR THE T RIP, BEING SURE YOU WOULDN'T GET MY MESSAGE UNTILL TONIGHT AFTER I HAD GONE. WHAT A SURPRISE, WHAT A SURPRISE, NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS MY JOY. WHAT A TESTIMONY.
Well, my mom wanted me to put in here the prayers she's been saying for us, so here they are...the first one here was done this morning about the same time I was having my journal time that I went over in my previous post. The second was done before she read my response and didn't know that I was doing a lot better yet....kind of fun to see, huh?
(First one)
YOU AND SI WILL GET YOUR HEALING TODAY. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE LOVE OF CHRIST, GETTING IN EVERY CLOSED OFF ROOM OF YOUR HEART, OUT OF YOUR OWN PROTECTION, THE LORD WARS OVER BOTH OF YOU, AND HE HAS ALREADY WON THE BATTLE, THE BLOOD OF JESUS CLEANSES YOU, AND THIS TIME, THE ENEMY IS DEFEATED FOREVER, hE CANNOT RETURN INTO YOU, AS THE BLOOD IS CLEANSING YOU EVEN NOW AS THIS IS BEING WRITTEN. YOU ARE IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT TO RECEIVE ALL OF THE HEALING THAT IS NECESSARY, NO MORE FEAR WILL BE ABLE TO COME UPON YOU, YOU WILL BE FREE TO RECEIVE LOVE AND GIVE LOVE, AND IT WON'T EVEN BE YOUR OWN, BUT THE LOVE OF CHRIST, WHO ALONE IS GOOD, AND JUST AND RIGHTEOUS, AND IS THE ONLY RIGHTEOUS JUDGE. THE LOVE YOU HAD BEFORE FOR MEN WAS SIMPLY INFATUATION. INFATUATION DOESN'T LAST. THE REAL LOVE OF CHRIST IN YOU LASTS AND LASTS AND LASTS UNTILL OUR JESUS TAKES YOU TO BE WITH HIM. INFATUATION LASTS UNTIL THE ENEMY COMES IN AND FEEDS YOU hIS LIES.YOU BOTH HAVE THE GIFT OF INTERCESSION, AND IT'S BEING BIRTHED IN YOU, AND IT'S TOUGH AS YOU CARRY ALL THE SCARS OF THE GENERATIONAL SINS THAT HAVE COME DOWN THROUGH THE GENERATIONS OF SINS THAT WE HAVE CARRIED THROUGH OUR FAMILIES,(PART OF THE SUFFERING OF CHRIST), (, THIS IS HOW HE FELT ON THE CROSS AS HE CARRIED ALL OUR SINS ON HIS BACK) AND THE THINGS THAT WE HAVE EXPOSED OURSELVES TO, IE(SIN), BUT TODAY IS THE DAY OF RECONCILIATION, TODAY IS THE DAY OF REDEMPTION, FEAR IS BOUND, THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE OF OUR LORD IS OPERATING FROM WITHIN, ALL FEELINGS OF INSECURITY ARE BOUND, ALL BAD DREAMS, NO MORE TO RETURN, AS YOUR STRENGTH COMES FROM THE LORD FROM NOW ON. BY THE AUTHORITY INVESTED IN ME THROUGH THE BLOOD OF JESUS, I BIND FEAR, INSECURITY, BAD DREAMS, AND I LOOSE EVERY ROOM IN DAYNA AND SIERRA'S HOUSE TO RECEIVE THE CLEANSING BLOOD OF THE LAMB THE HEALING THAT COMES AS A RESULT OF THE REDEEMING BLOOD OF JESUS, AND THE STRENGTH OF OUR LORD TO CONQUER FROM WITHIN THEM, AS THEY GO OUT AND LOVE PEOPLE THE WAY THE LORD JESUS IS INVITING THEM TO, AS THEY GO OUT AND MINISTER TO PEOPLE THE WAY THE LORD HAS INVITED THEM TO. FOR THIS REASON AND THIS SEASON THEY WERE BORN INTO THE HOUSEHOLD OF FAITH, TO PUSH BACK THE POWERS OF DARKNESS, AND EXPAND THE KINGDOM OR OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. GLORY TO OUR GOD FOREVER AND EVER IN JESUS NAME I PRAY THIS PRAYER AND CELEBRATE.AMEN ACCORDING TO MARK11;23, THIS IS A DONE DEAL. I PRAY THAT TODAY RIVERS AND RIVERS OF LIVING WATER WILL FLOW THROUGH THIER SOUL AS THE HEALING COMES, AND SONGS OF DELIVERANCE AND PRAISE WILL FLOW EVERMORE FROM THEIR SOULS. LOVE MOM AND GRANDMOM
And now here is the second one.....
HI DAYNE AND SI, AFTER I PRAYED THAT PRAYER, I GOT ON THE TRAMPOLINE TO JUMP, AND I WAS LISTENING TO PRAISE MUSIC AND TRYING NOT TO JUMP TOO HARD AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I FELT THE LORD SAY, "GO GET THAT RED AND BLACK SCARF YOU HAVE," DANCE WITH IT FOR ME, AND I DID, AND HE REMINDED ME THE BLACK WAS HOW SINFUL I WAS, BUT THE BLOOD COVERED IT, AND IT WAS A REMINDER TO THAT. SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT I CANNOT EXPLAIN, BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN I LAUGED SO HARD THAT I COULDN'T EVEN CONTAIN MYSELF, I ALMOST FELL A COUPLE OF TIMES, AND I HAD TO STOP JUMPING TO LAUGH, MY FACE WAS RED AND I WAS COUPHING, I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN AND I TRULY WAS DRUNK WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT. IT CONTINUED FOR A LONG TIME, THEN I THOUGHT WHEN I WAS FINISHED WITH THE JUMPING AND LAUGHING I THOUGHT I'D COME IN AND CHECK THE MESSAGES BEFORE I STARTED PACKING FOR THE T RIP, BEING SURE YOU WOULDN'T GET MY MESSAGE UNTILL TONIGHT AFTER I HAD GONE. WHAT A SURPRISE, WHAT A SURPRISE, NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS MY JOY. WHAT A TESTIMONY.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
His Joy Comes In The Morning
Yesterday was SO HEAVY...my spirit has just been so heavy for days now...but I had a breakthrough yesterday afternoon....here is an excerpt of what I wrote in an email to my mom yesterday:
Hi Mom,
Your email made me laugh - which is good because I've been crying and intense for 2 days!! No, my weekend wasn't very good...I'm getting hit hard by the enemy - I think he knows something big is in store for me, but I am having a hard time standing up under it. I don't know why I'm crying, really. Sierra was up most of the night with nightmares, I'm real intense. She made 3 pictures last night all about wanting a daddy, not having a daddy, how confusing her life is without a daddy, what she wants in a daddy - it's heavy, real heavy, and I don't know what to do with it. I'm praying and feel like God isn't answering - so, please pray for us, we're in it pretty deep. Feel free to share this with Diane, too - it's fine - I need all the prayer I can get right now!!
All day I was just broken over this issue with Sierra and her deep, deep desire for a Daddy. I'm also realizing some of my own stuff...the main things are that I haven't trusted God with my heart, that I don't know HOW to be loved and that I've lived out the lie that my feelings are unimportant and that my responsibility is to care for other people's feelings. Well, yesterday there were many people praying with me and talking with me and loving me...what a wonderful thing!! I began to feel lighter and then last night we had an awesome worship service and it was great!! Here is an excerpt from the email I sent this morning!!!
Hi Mom, Hi Diane!!
I LOVE This!! Thank you!! This is in line with what I am feeling is going to happen - our big day of healing is tomorrow, but I feel God working in me already. I had a breakthrough yesterday afternoon and was able to come against FEAR - then last night we had worship and it was awesome - we all bowed down together and I was flat on my face and crying out and for the first time I callled out to DADDY from the depths of my soul and cried out "hold me daddy!" and it was spontaneous and sincere. Here is what I wrote in my journal last night:
Tonight I called you Daddy for the first time from my heart. I held my arms up to You and asked You to hold me. I say "yes" to you. I choose You, I trust You. I want to get out of the boat. Amen!
In my journal I drew the picture I saw...me bowing in front of the cross with fear hightailing it out of there!
Then this morning (God is really funny...getting me up in the middle of the night or really early!) I saw a dam and it was holding back the LIVING WATERS...first a drop made it through. Then two drops. Then a tiny trickle, and a little bit bigger trickle. Before long, the living water was rushing through my heart and cleansing me, bringing forth life - The streams of Living Water were running freely - AMEN! I believe as I am healed that my weight and body will be restored to where God wants them and I will be healed of those issues as well.
I am learning how to be "real" with God...I see that something I've lived by is that my feelings are not important and it is my job to fix everyone else's feelings...I've denied and pushed down my own because I thought they were unrighteous and unimportant. I want to make them "pretty" and "acceptable" and "palatable" and it's hard to leave ugly feelings "out there" without cleaning them up. This is tied up with my not knowing how to receive love and be loved...but I feel God moving! The darkness lasts for a night but his joy comes in teh morning!
The song of my heart right now is
Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord!
Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord!
Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord, Amen!
I am crushed but not broken
persecuted not abandoned
struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse
for His promise will endure
His joy's gonna be my strength!
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes in the morning!!
I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down
for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down
for the joy of the Lord!
And I say YES LORD, YES LORD, YES YES LORD! YES LORD, YES LORD, YES YES LORD!
AMEN!! Praise the Lord...Thank you for your prayer and support and encouragement!!
Hi Mom,
Your email made me laugh - which is good because I've been crying and intense for 2 days!! No, my weekend wasn't very good...I'm getting hit hard by the enemy - I think he knows something big is in store for me, but I am having a hard time standing up under it. I don't know why I'm crying, really. Sierra was up most of the night with nightmares, I'm real intense. She made 3 pictures last night all about wanting a daddy, not having a daddy, how confusing her life is without a daddy, what she wants in a daddy - it's heavy, real heavy, and I don't know what to do with it. I'm praying and feel like God isn't answering - so, please pray for us, we're in it pretty deep. Feel free to share this with Diane, too - it's fine - I need all the prayer I can get right now!!
All day I was just broken over this issue with Sierra and her deep, deep desire for a Daddy. I'm also realizing some of my own stuff...the main things are that I haven't trusted God with my heart, that I don't know HOW to be loved and that I've lived out the lie that my feelings are unimportant and that my responsibility is to care for other people's feelings. Well, yesterday there were many people praying with me and talking with me and loving me...what a wonderful thing!! I began to feel lighter and then last night we had an awesome worship service and it was great!! Here is an excerpt from the email I sent this morning!!!
Hi Mom, Hi Diane!!
I LOVE This!! Thank you!! This is in line with what I am feeling is going to happen - our big day of healing is tomorrow, but I feel God working in me already. I had a breakthrough yesterday afternoon and was able to come against FEAR - then last night we had worship and it was awesome - we all bowed down together and I was flat on my face and crying out and for the first time I callled out to DADDY from the depths of my soul and cried out "hold me daddy!" and it was spontaneous and sincere. Here is what I wrote in my journal last night:
Tonight I called you Daddy for the first time from my heart. I held my arms up to You and asked You to hold me. I say "yes" to you. I choose You, I trust You. I want to get out of the boat. Amen!
In my journal I drew the picture I saw...me bowing in front of the cross with fear hightailing it out of there!
Then this morning (God is really funny...getting me up in the middle of the night or really early!) I saw a dam and it was holding back the LIVING WATERS...first a drop made it through. Then two drops. Then a tiny trickle, and a little bit bigger trickle. Before long, the living water was rushing through my heart and cleansing me, bringing forth life - The streams of Living Water were running freely - AMEN! I believe as I am healed that my weight and body will be restored to where God wants them and I will be healed of those issues as well.
I am learning how to be "real" with God...I see that something I've lived by is that my feelings are not important and it is my job to fix everyone else's feelings...I've denied and pushed down my own because I thought they were unrighteous and unimportant. I want to make them "pretty" and "acceptable" and "palatable" and it's hard to leave ugly feelings "out there" without cleaning them up. This is tied up with my not knowing how to receive love and be loved...but I feel God moving! The darkness lasts for a night but his joy comes in teh morning!
The song of my heart right now is
Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord!
Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord!
Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord, Amen!
I am crushed but not broken
persecuted not abandoned
struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse
for His promise will endure
His joy's gonna be my strength!
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes in the morning!!
I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down
for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down
for the joy of the Lord!
And I say YES LORD, YES LORD, YES YES LORD! YES LORD, YES LORD, YES YES LORD!
AMEN!! Praise the Lord...Thank you for your prayer and support and encouragement!!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Intensity
Last week we learned about the Father Heart of God...it waas really good and Jim May, the guy who spoke on it was just a big teddy bear grandpa type. At the end he asked if anyone needed a daddy hug, so I jumped up and got one!!
Over the weekend, our group went to a place called Turtle Bay in Redding and then on Sunday everyone watched the Superbowl. I felt that I didn't get time to really soak in and press in and meditate on all this daddy stuff, and Lord knows I need to - this is a big topic for me. So, I came into this week feeling intense and under pressure.
Now we're in Plumb Line...my intensity has only increased and I'm just crying, crying, crying - why?? I couldn't even really tell you - just really emotional and intense and being barraged by a storm of emotions (none of them good). Yesterday one of the ladies told me to "take it slow", so I'm taking that advice...she says it doesn't happen in a day. My response was "God made the world in 6 days, he ought to be able to heal me in one!!"....but I was (mostly) kidding...haha. So, I'm trying to slow it down.
Ok...time to go in for day 2....pray for me!!
Over the weekend, our group went to a place called Turtle Bay in Redding and then on Sunday everyone watched the Superbowl. I felt that I didn't get time to really soak in and press in and meditate on all this daddy stuff, and Lord knows I need to - this is a big topic for me. So, I came into this week feeling intense and under pressure.
Now we're in Plumb Line...my intensity has only increased and I'm just crying, crying, crying - why?? I couldn't even really tell you - just really emotional and intense and being barraged by a storm of emotions (none of them good). Yesterday one of the ladies told me to "take it slow", so I'm taking that advice...she says it doesn't happen in a day. My response was "God made the world in 6 days, he ought to be able to heal me in one!!"....but I was (mostly) kidding...haha. So, I'm trying to slow it down.
Ok...time to go in for day 2....pray for me!!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Truth Box
Our topic last week was "Truth Box"...the idea is that we each have inside of us a "truth box" in which are the beliefs we hold. Most of the contents have been put in there throughout life based on our experiences and what people we trusted have told us. The rub comes when what we hold in our box doesn't line up with reality. We talked a lot about the character of God and were challenged to examine our box to see if the beliefs we held lined up with the character of who God is. As you can imagine, many do not.
This sounds simplistic and easy, but let me tell you - it was not! When you believe something, it is very hard to change your view on it. Last week was exhausting and by Thursday I felt totally drained. I took probably 40 pages of notes throughout the week! Of course, I'll never be able to give justice to the teaching - being directly involved is really the only way to have it soak in deep - but I will try to summarize my (FORTY PAGES) notes here...
We began by just simply asking the question "How do you know the things you know?" There were lots of answers; school, experience, logical expression, reading, etc. Essentially, everything we know came from outside of us, and was then put inside of us - in short, by someone telling us or by experience. From there we went down a philosophy trail a bit. We discussed the possibilty of a square earth (as opposed to round). We each had to admit we had not actually seen the entire earth, nor measured it out, but in fact had trusted teachers, books and pictures as being a true representation of the earths' shape...essentially, we were told so as children and we trusted the person who told us, so we believed it.
We then defined truth as "agreeing with reality" and we defined reality as "the thing that is" (are you having fun yet?). Therefore, untruth would then be defined as disagreeing with reality, having a false perception, believing a lie.
We also agreed that truth can be complementary, but never contradictory, and that two opposite realities simply cannot exist (logic...always the most fun class in college!). A real issue in the world today is the question posed by Pilate, and that is "WHAT is truth?"...this question is based on the assumption that truth is subjective and unable to be proven. It boils down to a morality that says you can never be deceived, and that there is no right or wrong. This was big with me as I see a lot of this in my area of the country.
It comes to this - that our "truth box" becomes the authority in our lives by which we live our life and make all of our decisions. The two areas in which the most important beliefs come in are our pictures of God and our pictures of ourselves. Basically, we had to come to the place where we admit that everything in our truth box is NOT necessarily true! To me this is a big "DUH"...I think any woman could honestly say this as we come to the place where we look honestly at ourselves and realize that we are not seeing ourselves (our bodies) for what they really are - we focus on the negative so much because the media presents this impossible picture of beauty (a lie), and we buy into it.
As we spent time examining our truth box, we also spent a lot of time examining the character of God and what lies we have in our boxes regarding Him. The biggest one I got, I already shared - that is, that I wasn't trusting Him to bring a daddy into Sierra's life...so, I've had to get real with myself about some trust issues I've got with God!!!
This week we are looking at the Father Heart of God, so going deeper into our boxes with regard to how our views of our heavenly father have been formed based on misrepresentations of Him, and getting the right picture of Him based on who HE says He is.
We hear that next week is "Plumb Line"...I'm guessing my dad will know what that means - it's a term in construction where they use a string with a weight on it to determine if something is straight. We keep hearing things about how powerful the week will be...we're all a little anxious! Hehe.
This sounds simplistic and easy, but let me tell you - it was not! When you believe something, it is very hard to change your view on it. Last week was exhausting and by Thursday I felt totally drained. I took probably 40 pages of notes throughout the week! Of course, I'll never be able to give justice to the teaching - being directly involved is really the only way to have it soak in deep - but I will try to summarize my (FORTY PAGES) notes here...
We began by just simply asking the question "How do you know the things you know?" There were lots of answers; school, experience, logical expression, reading, etc. Essentially, everything we know came from outside of us, and was then put inside of us - in short, by someone telling us or by experience. From there we went down a philosophy trail a bit. We discussed the possibilty of a square earth (as opposed to round). We each had to admit we had not actually seen the entire earth, nor measured it out, but in fact had trusted teachers, books and pictures as being a true representation of the earths' shape...essentially, we were told so as children and we trusted the person who told us, so we believed it.
We then defined truth as "agreeing with reality" and we defined reality as "the thing that is" (are you having fun yet?). Therefore, untruth would then be defined as disagreeing with reality, having a false perception, believing a lie.
We also agreed that truth can be complementary, but never contradictory, and that two opposite realities simply cannot exist (logic...always the most fun class in college!). A real issue in the world today is the question posed by Pilate, and that is "WHAT is truth?"...this question is based on the assumption that truth is subjective and unable to be proven. It boils down to a morality that says you can never be deceived, and that there is no right or wrong. This was big with me as I see a lot of this in my area of the country.
It comes to this - that our "truth box" becomes the authority in our lives by which we live our life and make all of our decisions. The two areas in which the most important beliefs come in are our pictures of God and our pictures of ourselves. Basically, we had to come to the place where we admit that everything in our truth box is NOT necessarily true! To me this is a big "DUH"...I think any woman could honestly say this as we come to the place where we look honestly at ourselves and realize that we are not seeing ourselves (our bodies) for what they really are - we focus on the negative so much because the media presents this impossible picture of beauty (a lie), and we buy into it.
As we spent time examining our truth box, we also spent a lot of time examining the character of God and what lies we have in our boxes regarding Him. The biggest one I got, I already shared - that is, that I wasn't trusting Him to bring a daddy into Sierra's life...so, I've had to get real with myself about some trust issues I've got with God!!!
This week we are looking at the Father Heart of God, so going deeper into our boxes with regard to how our views of our heavenly father have been formed based on misrepresentations of Him, and getting the right picture of Him based on who HE says He is.
We hear that next week is "Plumb Line"...I'm guessing my dad will know what that means - it's a term in construction where they use a string with a weight on it to determine if something is straight. We keep hearing things about how powerful the week will be...we're all a little anxious! Hehe.
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